Category Archives: personal syntax

How to (Almost) Read Minds: Teleseminar replay

How valuable would it be to know how to tailor your communication so it makes the most sense to the other person? 
To be persuasive to them?


How to (Almost) Read Minds
with Lucy Freedman
Join me for a 45-minute tour of your sphere of influence. Learn how to tune in to what is important to your customers, co-workers, anyone you want to influence to get things done. 


Email syntaxoffice@syntx.com for the link to the replay.

Being Influential

Do you have good ideas? Are you sometimes frustrated when they go nowhere? What do you do when you run up against resistance or just can’t seem to get a response?

For problems to get solved, for innovation to occur, for collaboration to grow out of conflict; new ideas and solutions are needed.
And yet, it may be difficult to dislodge the status quo or even get a hearing for a new idea. Organizational decision-making can be complex or unclear. A lack of confidence in yourself, your ideas, or your standing may hold you back.

Alternatively, when you do succeed in making a difference, you feel good, and valued, and that your work is worthwhile. Things may not be perfect where you work but they are moving in a good direction. Influence is a motivator.

Being influential is not merely a result of position power. Influence is a set of skills that can be learned and that need to be honed as you grow in your career. SYNTAX is the result of modeling and distilling the crucial ways of acting and being that create influence. It exists to help people with good ideas get them across and acted upon.

Take something that you would like to have happen in your workplace, an idea you would like considered, a solution you can offer. What are the first thoughts that come to mind? Here are the seeds of your own personal syntax, the kernel of how you organize for influence. Starting from there, SYNTAX helps you bring your contribution to others so that they can get on board, make decisions, and take action.

As a launch pad, answer these questions about your idea.

What do I want to happen?

What will that get me / you / us?

How will we know – what specific evidence will tell us – when this is done?

Outstanding influencers can answer these questions for themselves and for the people they want to reach. Knowing everyone’s intention, motivation, and evidence creates the needed focus for forward motion. This comes from Plan, one of the five SYNTAX skill sets.

When you can answer these three questions for any idea you want to bring forward, your influence is guaranteed to increase. Your ability to influence increases exponentially when you add in the other four skill sets. Your personal syntax becomes supercharged for influence.

We’re here to provide tools and guidance for you to create your unique roadmap with your own personal syntax as a starting point. That’s the purpose of the Messenger, and the purpose of SYNTAX courses, coaching, and consulting.
Join the influential people who have found out how much more of a difference they can make when they put SYNTAX to work for them. And today, enjoy the benefit of asking yourself “the three questions” for something you care about.

What Coaches Bring

Invaluable resources that help you get where you want to go

Some of the most important benefits of coaching may be the least quantifiable. Coaches come from a variety of backgrounds, different types of coach training, many motivations for wanting to help others in this way. Some of the gifts coaches bring are more tangible, some less obvious.
We can’t always put our finger on exactly what made a difference. From the clients’ perspective, it’s the outcome that matters, in whatever way the coach helped them get there.

Some of the gifts coaches offer:

Listening. When the coach listens, the client has a witness. While talking about a situation, the client has an opportunity to sort through what is important and what is just a circular story. Through deep listening, the coach provides a safe space for exploration as well as the sense of being understood, which meets a profound need we all have. Goals that are spoken have added clarity and strength.

Discernment. The coach gets to know you and can offer feedback that is finely tuned to where you are. Discernment comes from experience and intuition. When you don’t see how you are contributing to a negative situation, or holding back, or missing an opportunity, the coach’s discernment calls it to your attention.

Expertise. Many coaches offer specific expertise, such as business, finance, speaking, sports performance, wellness, parenting, relationships, etc. At times a coach may give instruction or direct advice, observe you in action and give feedback, or recommend readings or trainings. While coaching is not the same as teaching, an expert coach can greatly accelerate learning.

Devotion. Coaches are devoted to their clients’ success. They help define and hold the space for people to reach beyond their current level of skill, satisfaction, and accomplishment. When the client loses track or begins to flag, the coach is there to remind and redirect. The coach holds the client in positive esteem while mirroring the hopes and dreams that make the journey worthwhile. Coaches are there consistently while the world swirls around.

Creativity. When you run out of options, call on your coach to help break through to a new level of creativity. Whether as a sounding board, brainstorming partner, or cheering section, the coach helps keep creative juices flowing.

Each coach brings unique qualities and techniques to the process. Working with a coach in any field ensures that you have these resources available to you.

(This article originally appeared in the June newsletter of the Silicon Valley Coach Federation).

Keeping Up Our Idealism

The first of the year inspires us to reach toward our hopes and dreams. Where will we be a year from now – what will be accomplished, what will have changed, how satisfied will we be that we have lived as we want to?

Idealism provides motivation. It is a great asset, a source of energy for day-to-day activities. Healthy idealists can let go and shift focus when outcomes differ from expectations, finding other ways to move forward.

A strategy I use to maintain idealism and motivation is to make little, ongoing choices that add up to better life balance. Our mindsets are held in place by our habits of thought and expression. When we consciously adjust our “syntax” we are applying our personal power to move toward our more idealistic worldview.

Today I caught myself writing an email reply that answered more than was asked. I didn’t need to volunteer more information. One word would do the job. Making similar choices this year will save me time and extraneous stress.
It was an adjustment in my personal “anticipate and solve every problem” syntax.

When my coaching clients try out a slight change and hear the difference, such as changing “but” to “and,” or practicing a gracious way to say no to a request, the positive results offer immediate reinforcement.

We can keep depositing credits into our “change the world”: account, sometimes with little noticeable effect, sometimes turning a whole negative situation into a positive one.

I’ll still set audacious goals and aim for new frontiers of improving communication on a larger scale. When I can see, hear, and feel results today, I am motivated to stay on course.

As you head toward your goals and ideals for 2011, what communication practices do you want to embed in your personal syntax? What specific action can you take today to move forward on that path?