All posts by SYNTAX Influence Course

The SYNTAX Influence Course takes you to a new level of conscious competence for achieving your goals with people. Based on over thirty years' experience in strengthening communication within companies and with their customers and suppliers, SYNTAX shows you how to leverage the underlying behavioral structure of influence on behalf of your career and your organization's success.

Are You Making These Mistakes in Getting the Results You Want?

At times, we all need to get someone else to make a decision. Whether it’s about signing off on a project, buying our product or service, or making reservations for dinner, results depend on someone  making a decision.

The thing is, they will make the decision their way. They can’t do it any other way, and if they try, they will most likely be unhappy with the result.

Have you seen this to be the case? Have you, or someone close to you, said, “I knew it wasn’t going to work out. I shouldn’t have gone along just because I was talked into it.”

When we really want something for the other person, or need something from them, our good intentions can actually get in the way of how they NEED to make the decision.

Here are three common mistakes that block our effectiveness at helping others make good decisions.

Mistake #1: Putting our attention in the wrong place. When we are so attached to our own agenda, or really working on the best way to present our offer, or just nervous and worrying about how we are doing, our attention is on ourselves and not the other person. This not only keeps us from getting the information we need from them, it also unintentionally conveys that we are not really interested in them. Bad move for gaining trust.

Mistake #2: Being logical. Or, more specifically, using your own logic rather than the logic of the other person. Even if you listen carefully to what the other person wants, you are likely to organize the solution using your own logic rather than the sequence or emphasis that feels natural to them. If you offer services to others, the more you know about how they think and decide, the better service you can provide for them.

Mistake #3. Leading too soon or too much. People who are great at influencing have a wide range of behavioral flexibility. They can move quickly or they can be more deliberate to match the pace of their client. They don’t rush decisions. It’s a lot easier to avoid this mistake if you are avoiding mistakes 1 and 2 – so that you are listening and following the other person’s logic.

Correcting these mistakes shows the other person that you are being responsive to them. If you genuinely want to get decisions that are mutually beneficial, follow their logic and provide the information that they need to make a good decision for them.

Not only will you get better results in the short run, your relationships become stronger over the long run.

Innovation: Why We Need to Connect with Each Other

Click on this post to view a short fun video that shows us that the connected mind is where good ideas come from.

Why Influence?

What do we mean by “influence”?
What is the value of increasing it?
In the SYNTAX Influence Course, we define influence as having your outcomes match or exceed what you intended. We take apart the process by which people are influenced and practice the component skills.
The online dictionary definition of the word is
“the capacity or power of persons or things to be a compelling force on or produce effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of others.”
We don’t think of influence as a “compelling force” on others. At the same time, one cannot help but have an effect on others’ actions etc. So the question is really: “Do you influence skillfully?”
That means:
-Do you consciously consider what outcomes are worth having, and act intelligently with those goals in mind?
-Do you have flexibility in your behavior so that you can meet people where they are and lead gracefully?
-Are you able to make requests and agreements that move you forward?
-Do you communicate so that people can easily get what you are saying?
-Do you learn as you go along and adjust?
The ability to read people, understand how they make decisions, and respond accordingly, distinguishes great influencers from good ones.
This morning’s Google doodle illustrates one of the principles of influence: a boy brings one gift after another to a girl who is jumping rope and ignoring him. Finally he starts jumping rope with her. They start jumping together and they fall in love! Thanks, Google!
 The value of increasing your influence depends on what your goals are. What would it be worth to achieve them quickly, easily, and thoroughly?
In our three-day SYNTAX Influence Course, we share the secrets of decoding decision strategies and many other aspects of reading people. You discover and streamline your own strategies at the same time. We don’t just talk about it, we practice the behaviors, including the flexibility to meet people where they are before attempting to lead.
The result may seem like a compelling force, just by being effective at reaching people where they live!
How You Can Participate
The follow-up coaching component of our first course of 2012 is now under way. We will soon be posting dates for the next three-day SYNTAX. Influence course, so if you have a preference, please let us know at syntaxoffice@syntx.com

Love and Work

Today is Valentine’s Day, when we think a lot about love. Most of the focus is on romantic love, hearts and flowers, and all that.

Let’s take a moment to recognize another aspect of love: the love we express when we work.
 
Gifts from the Heart
No matter what form your work takes, when you show up and contribute energy, smarts, and time, you are sharing your uniqueness.
 
You may think of your value in terms of the tasks you perform. Yes, that contribution is important.
 
How you do those tasks and interact with people is at least as important. You have a direct effect on the well-being of those around you. Perhaps you wouldn’t say you love every one of those people. Just the same, they feel your presence — and your love.
 
Even better, what is good for you, i.e., whatever nurtures your soul, gives you joy, makes your day, is also good for the people around you.

Doing Work You Love
A real luxury in life is getting to do work that you love. Those moments of being fully absorbed, creating results, helping people, learning, succeeding, and being recognized, are sources of motivation.
 
If this is a frequent experience for you, congratulations.
 
If you don’t have much of that, guess what? It is up to you to get creative in your career. Whether by enhancing what you are doing now, or following your heart to make a change, or finding a way to do what you love outside of work, you have to express your gift.
 
An Underrated Resource
For some bizarre reason, work cultures often undermine or discount the gifts of the heart.
 
HR manager and author Tony DeBlauwe has identified a condition he calls EAD, or Employee Adaptive Displacement, which names the hidden demoralization of many people at work. You can read his recent blog post and download the full paper for more of Tony’s insight.
 
These workers’ hearts are not engaged. Not only are they unhappy, they are not performing at their potential. 
 
Engaging the heart has many benefits. The Institute of Heartmath offers statistics proving that the heart has many times more electrical current than the brain.
 
They and others also show that appreciation and gratitude reduce stress and increase health at work. There are lots of reasons for your left brain to buy into the love thing. Today, use the excuse that it is Valentine’s Day!
 

A Round of Appreciation

Why not add a few ounces of appreciation for yourself and others today?
 
Start by recognizing the commitment it takes for you to do your work, to offer your skills, and to help the team.
Give yourself some appreciation for that!
 
Look around, either in person or in your mind, at the people in your work life. Is it not some form of love that they express each day?
 
It may seem strange to think of our presence and our contributions as love.  Try putting on that filter and experience the giving and receiving of love that constitutes work. Open your heart to the possibilities.
 
Share the love this Valentine’s Day.  Namaste
 
(You can read the Messenger, including Why Influence? at http://emailbrain.com/new/viewnewsletter2.aspx?SiteID=9958&SID=1&NewsletterID=1065542)